Weight

So one of the only things that I've been able to really focus on these last few weeks is this weight loss thing, which seems like it's going well. I've lost around five pounds since the beginning of the month.

I am trying to balance that really fine line between not being obsessive about diet and exercise (which the aborted web project was encouraging) and not losing interest. So far, it's working, in part because it's an excellent way to procrastinate from the writing.

Here's what I'm doing:
Exercise: Trying to exercise 5 or 6 days a week, when possible, something strenuous and something aerobic, which may mean some sets of moderate weight lifting with some time on the bike or rowing. Sometimes it simply means moving my very steep lawn with my pushmower with the broken drive control. Once soccer season starts, that'll certainly count. It should be noted that Willow is a former personal trainer and avid exerciser, often doing 90 minutes of cardio of lifting the same weights that I am, though she is 60 pounds lighter than I am...I have often found her regime intimidating and kind of incomprehensible, but right now, she's been my biggest help in this process. She's even gotten me to work out in the free-weight room, a place I would never have ventured before.

Eating: No radical diet plan, just a series of guidelines for making choices to consider whenever I'm eating. I'm still eating at the same restaurants, and often choosing from among our established cooking repertoire.

• Less fat is better.
• Less sugar is better
• Lean protein is good, and mandatory in the meal before a workout, and worth a little extra fat if need be.
• More fiber is better.
• More water is better.
• Avoid seconds.
• Avoid unplanned snacks--I often plan one mid morning and mid afternoon.
• Natural ingredients are better than processed ones.
• Flavor is still important.

The interesting thing is how much this process has me thinking about my body, which is an interesting place for me to be, as a man who a) has never really had to worry about my health, and b) has never had any hope of being a prime physical specimen, either in terms of attractiveness or athletics. But as a theorist of gender and performance, thinking about my own body in these terms is unsettling to say the least, for all sorts of reasons. These were all things I intended to consider in the other blog project, and may import to some degree here, though it will certainly be more confessional than I've been in this space before, so we'll see how I feel about hitting publish. Still, right now my goal is 15 pounds over the summer, to start the school year with a differently shaped body. And in the meantime, to think hard about all of my motivations for working for a differently shaped body.